DISCLAIMER: In this blog, I touch on offences that people commit against one another. For the sake of conciseness, some offences may not be specified; please assume that these offences are major, such as bullying, not minor things like someone stealing a pencil. Thank you.
Oh, goody. More positive topics.
I consider misery and the loss of control as the real reasons why people commit sin. For instance, a small child may pull a tantrum because a toy has been taken away from him, and his inability to see from another perspective makes him believe that he has been deprived, and therefore he enters a state of infantile misery, causing the tantrum. As we age, the tendency of outrage in the face of misery doesn’t seem to leave us, but rather just becomes easier to swallow. Take children who face abuse by their parents; as the years go by, they learn that keeping quiet is the only way to defend themselves, so they swallow the misery and bear it. However, by the time they are parents themselves, some may manifest their outrage and use it to attack their own children, because that’s the only way they know how to regain control from their outrage.
Because of this reason, I honestly believe that whatever outrage and misery we hold inside us ought to be purged as soon as possible, because it seems that allowing it to rest at the bottom of your subconscious only allows it to grow into something of a monster that one may not be able to mollify. So, what might a purge be, you may ask? It is merely constructive outrage, where one takes one’s anger and misery and makes something out of it. Such examples of constructive outrage includes beat poetry, creating (or joining) grass-roots organizations for social reform, and even merely venting to a friend or preferably, depending on how bad your misery is, a therapist. A purge does NOT consist of taking physical action against whoever or whatever has made you miserable. Now, some of you may have been thrust into such misery that you may think that your transgressor deserves to be harmed, but the truth of the matter is, you can become just as hurt as you have made them, physically or emotionally – especially emotionally.
There’s a reason why we don’t see a fistfight every day; whether you’re the one perpetrating it or the victim of one, you’re torn out of a state of comfort and safety, thrusting your sympathetic nervous system into full gear, and you start to wonder: should you fly, or should you fight? If you fly, then you may decide to hate yourself forever for your “cowardice” (that is to say – LIFE INSTINCTS). If you fight, you’ll hate yourself even more, because whether you win or lose, whether you merely punish the person you hate or even kill him, something is dragged out of you that wasn’t meant to be there, that was planted into you – ironically – by your misery. You become something like a mutant, torn between your hatred and a human form. (This is the monster I mentioned before.) You can remain in this mutant state for either a finite amount of time, or for the rest of your life. And I can assure you, remaining in the mutant state will only drag you down; you’re meant to be a happy, healthy, FULL human being, not some stitched-up Frankenstein’s monster, wandering around, trying to understand the reason for its existence, destroying anything that won’t accept it.
However, bear in mind that so long as you are not causing harm to yourself and others, you have the right to purge. Anger and misery are inherent and human; until humanity progresses to a point where such emotions are unnecessary, don’t even bother thinking you can just forget that the sadness and rage inside you doesn’t exist. Just let it out, especially if you think you can use that sadness to improve the state of society, whether by bringing awareness, provoking thought, or actively trying to free humanity of injustice (like charity, for example).
And, please, do not judge others for expressing their own misery. Sometimes, these purges can make people say things that they would never say otherwise. For example, if your friend says to you, “Gosh, that person has been such a jerk! I wish I could just kill him!” does not mean you get to pin him down and dial 911. This is merely your friend expressing his outrage against the unfairness and meanness done to him by his theoretical “victim.” And your friend has every right to understand that an outrage has been done against him, and to rant about it in whatever way he sees fit. Because honestly, I think if we lose that right to express our anger, in whatever way possible, people become blind to the pain around them, and the act of hurting another becomes acceptable, which we all know it’s not. In some ways, this situation is rather ironic, because in our pursuit to stop people from hurting others – such as you bear-hugging your friend – we in fact hurt others, because that inability to feel comfortable enough to purge actually just makes misery worse, which, I hate to say it, can actually cause a person to physically lash out, either against themselves or for others, because they feel like that’s the only way they can stand up for themselves, seeing as how the option to speak up was taken away from. This is a time when people need to be understood, not punished. I understand that we live in a time where we are very sensitive to “threats” like that (notice the quotation marks), but one must understand the context of both the situation and the personality of the speaker. Also, understand that we’ve all been so angry we could “kill” (punch, slap, yell at – take your pick) someone (or rather, say we wish we could kill someone), but would never actually dare to something so outrageous. Such language is merely a verbal burning of an effigy, and nothing more. So, please, just relax and try to help your hypothetical friend as much as you can, because more likely than not, they don’t need a weapon, they need a hug, and at most that’s probably all they want (aside from maybe an apology from the person they’re angry at). So, please, be there for them as much as you can.
Now, you may be asking yourself: “Purging is cool and all, but what about forgiveness?” Frankly, I think that merely telling someone who is miserable to “just forget and forgive” whatever it is they hold their anger against is rather prudish. I mean, I understand why such people say or believe these things – they want things to settle out as peacefully as possible, and we all do, really – but when one says that, it seems as though they’re laying the weight of a person’s misery on themselves, as though it’s their responsibility. And sometimes, it is their responsibility; for instance, take the misery of people who neglect their children, and before they know a social worker’s driving off with their kids in the car. However, I believe that for a lot of people, their misery does not stem from their own actions, but rather by abuse done against them. Thus, as it is not a cross (so to speak) of one’s own choosing, it is the person who laid that crucifix across their victim’s shoulders who must take ownership and apologize. From that point, they are at their victim’s mercy (METAPHOR): if the victim is capable of it, then he should forgive; if the wounds are too deep, then it may be best for the victim to just walk away, let the person who hurt them try again later. Forgiveness is deeply spiritual, and a human’s spirits acts and looks a lot like a turtle’s body. Don’t bother rushing the turtle; you may as well drown a fish.
As we end this blog, I would like to encourage people to try to end their misery as much as they can. Misery causes self-loathing, and it is self-loathing that distorts are views of the human race, enabling us to sneer and hurt. As such, be kind to yourself, try to understand the pain of others, and don’t inflict your purges on the innocent, but rather on the injustices done to you. Use your misery as a weapon against pain, so you can live the life you were born to, because I can assure most of us weren’t born on this planet to suffer.
One last thing. One of my purges is Yogi’s herbal, one of which being St. John’s Wart, which is an anti-depressant. I hadn’t drunk any in quite some time (I’m always too lazy to make it), but I had a pretty bad day today, so I thought I’d give it a shot. Well, Yogi likes to write little inspirational quotes on the tea bag’s tassel, and it just so happens that this tea bag’s quote is: “You don’t need love, you are the love.” I just thought that was rather coincidental, given that purging can really be an act of self-love, if you do it the right way.